7 Things in 7 Years: What I’ve Learned Since Having Weight Loss Surgery

Me pre-op versus a few months ago. I'm using this "after" pic because it's cold today and I look a hot mess so I don't want to take a picture, k? I'm the exact same weight today as in the picture (and yes, that weight IS over 200 lbs.)

Sad, but true fact: I didn’t realize today was my surgery anniversary until my friend Pam congratulated me. Wow. (I call that a “Nik Moment”)

In honor of this momentous occasion, I’d like to share seven insights I’ve learned in as many years since my surgery. In no particular order.

Balance is way more important than perfection

As a newer post-op I was something of a health zealot. Some of you know me from back then. If you do, you know I’m the girl who once reamed a fellow post-op out for eating strawberries because strawberries are (gasp!) CARBS!

The truth of the matter is that it’s not so important to do everything perfectly, but to find things you can stick with. That’s why when folks ask me what’s the best protein powder, I answer, “The one you can stick with using.” What’s the best form of exercise? “The one you’ll keep doing.” This is a marathon, not a sprint. Which brings me to my next point.

This fight never ends.

You don’t graduate. There is no finish line. That may depress some of you but it is reality. Science is beginning to give us some insight about obesity. One thing I learned at Obesity Action CoalitionConvention one year was that the metabolic systems of obese people are different from those of people who never had a weight problem. That means that we always have to be mindful of what and how much we eat, we always have to be living a healthy lifestyle, if we expect to keep the weight off and remain healthy. However…

I refuse to be on a diet for the rest of my life

One thing you’ll notice about Bariatric Foodie in general is that I am not afraid of food. I like cookies. (Note: I can’t eat too many of them because my body reacts to the sugar!) I sometimes eat McDonald’s. I have an abiding peanut butter addiction. I did not go through this process to be on a strict diet for the rest of my life. My goal, instead, is to live healthfully and mindfully. When I’m honest with myself, most of the time the healthier stuff is what I want (I mean, have you seensome of my recipes? Holy healthy NOM!). So I try to focus on living life, rather than restricting it.

The person I thought I’d be once I lost the weight does not exist

But in my head she was something. She was powerful and successful and happy and everybody LOVED her! She traveled, she bought fabulous clothes, had a wonderful boyfriend and, frankly, they both loved seeing her naked (hey, you guys always say I keep it real here!).

But here was the tricky part. In my head I wasn't allowed to be that person until I reached a certain number. And so YEARS went by and I was still waiting to start my life. Each day that didn't happen I felt more and more like a failure. The crazy thing was I was succeeding in so many other ways but I wasn't giving myself credit for it.

So the bottom line is this: at my lowest weight I was stressed out, insecure and lonely. It should have been the greatest time of my life. For goodness sakes, I hit a size 6 at one point! But things only began to change when I allowed myself to be the person I want to be now instead of waiting for some milestone. 

Hard stuff is still hard

Long-time readers know I went through the worst year of my life in 2012. My mother died, I lost our family home to the housing bubble. It was a dark, dark year and I was happy to see it end!

As hard as it was, I’m proud I was able to get through it without going bonkers with my eating. I think it’s because the stuff I dealt with was so painful, that I actually did reach out for help. I couldn’t withstand those sorts of shocks on my own and I didn’t even try to. I asked for hugs when I needed them. I cried. I stopped blogging for a while. I took long walks and argued with my mother, God and any other entity I was angry with.

Hard stuff will still happen to you as you are losing the weight. But it’s ok, you can get through it.

There are a million interesting things about me…weight loss surgery is only one of them

There was a time when my entire life revolved around weight loss surgery! But that’s only one part of who I am. Around year three, I began to nourish the other parts of who I am. I’ve shared that I’m a professional writer. I am almost finished earning a master’s degree in communications. I’ve written a few manuscripts (one day I may seek publication, until then…). I have two wonderfully insightful teenaged daughters, a batsh*t crazy Basset Hound and a Samurai black cat. I volunteer a lot. I enjoy singing and dancing and weight lifting and…

Get the point? It sounds weird to say but I didn’t know myself that well before surgery. I didn’t know what fed my soul or what made me excited to get up in the morning. Now I do and I am so grateful for that knowledge – and it keeps on building!

Everyone’s picture of success looks different

I started at 330 lbs. My lowest weight after surgery was 172 lbs. My highest weight after hitting my low point was 215. I haven’t checked my weight in a while, although I’m thinking I’m somewhere around 210. Yes, this scares the crap out of most of you. To answer your question, no I’m not afraid of gaining it all back. I don’t think I will, although it’s certainly possible. But given the fact that I love to exercise, I move a lot and I generally eat a pretty balanced diet, no matter what size I am, I’ll be healthy.

And that’s mypicture of success. Yours may be to get to a certain weight. Or a certain size. And that’s fine! Within this community I simply ask that if you don’t knock my picture, I won’t knock yours.

So there you have it…seven of the many things I’ve learned since my weight loss surgery. Thanks for being a part of this crazy ride with me!

Check out my journey! Here are past year's surgery anniversary reflections:
(As you can see I've been inconsistent in documenting this!)

• Four years post-op
• Five years post-op